Friday, February 17, 2012

CHAPTER SEVEN: KOSCOT INTERPLANETARY

[transcript]

Dangerous Don:  Welcome back everybody!  Welcome back to the MACHO INVESTING blog, the home of you and me and many, many other stock-market millionaires.  We’re blogging to you direct from our worldwide corporate headquarters in Scranton, Pennsylvania.
Johnny:  Welcome  back, everybody!
Dangerous Don:  I’m your host, Dangerous Don.   I’m sure everybody recognizes the name.   I happen to be one of the most successful stock-market investors of all time. . . .
Johnny:  And this is our co-host. . . .

Dangerous Don:  . . . . . and this is my very distinguished and always level-headed co-host, Johnny Doorknob.    The Numero Uno, go-to guy in the Scranton financial community.
Johnny:  Thanks, Don!   So. . . . what’s your hot stock tip for this week?
Dangerous Don:   Johnny, two words.   Koscot Interplanetary.
Johnny:   Ahhh. . . . . okay. . . . . so, lemme guess.   Some kind of science fiction movie?   Maybe a spaceship?
Dangerous Don:   Hottest stock in the market today.
Johnny:   So. . . . . like. . . . . it’s a home run?
Dangerous Don:  You been living under a rock the last six months?
Johnny:  Okay, so. . . . . what do they do?  What do they make?
Dangerous Don:   They repair umbrellas.  Actually, they franchise umbrella-repair shops.  Fastest growing business in the world today.
Johnny:  Wow!
Dangerous Don:  Each franchisee lines up more sub-franchisees, and the business just keeps on growing and growing.  The stock is a little pricey at seventy times earnings.  Buy it on the dip.
Johnny:   So. . . . lemme guess.  Each sub-franchisee then turns around, and lines up more and more sub-sub-franchisees.
Dangerous Don:  How did you know that?
Johnny:   Don, this whole thing is suspicious. . . . .
Dangerous Don:   Not at all.
Johnny:   Sounds like a classic pyramid scheme.
Dangerous Don:   Listen, if you buy the stock, make sure you mention my name.

Johnny:  Why?
Dangerous Don:  Investment professional.  I get a small commission.
Johnny:   A kickback?
Dangerous Don:  We call it revenue sharing.
Johnny:  What about that 401(k) that you’re now in charge of?  You plan to recommend this stock to the employees?
Dangerous Don:   Already have!   Johnny, I couldn’t sleep at night if I kept quiet about deals like this!
Johnny:   Deals like this?   Oh boy!
Dangerous Don:  Besides, I’m a fiduciary.   I can’t let my guys miss out on opportunities this big!
Johnny:   Of course not.   But how about that revenue sharing?   You get a commission when the employees in the 401(k) buy this stock?
Dangerous Don:   Standard operating procedure.   Standard 12b-1 fees.   Everything we do is technically legal.   No 401(k) on Earth operates any differently.
Johnny:  This whole business of hidden fees in 401(k)’s is a volcano waiting to erupt.
Dangerous Don:   Think so?
Johnny:   Actually, the 12b-1 fees and the revenue-sharing are just the tip of the iceberg.  There are ten or fifteen other kinds of fees that 401(k)’s charge, half of which nobody has ever heard of.  Hard to even keep track, there's so many fees
Dangerous Don:  Not that many.  Not ten or fifteen.
Johnny:  Wrap fees.   Sub-transfer agency fees.  Mortality fees.   Finders fees.   Shareholder servicing fees.   Market adjustment fees.  All these fees on top of the biggest fees of all, which are the expense ratios of the mutual funds inside the 401(k).   Here, here’s an interesting article I can give you.
Dangerous Don:  Sure.
Johnny:   Fact is, a generation ago, people put their savings in their savings account in a bank.  The bank paid you 3% a year interest.
Dangerous Don:   That was before my time.
Johnny:   Today, people put their savings in their 401(k).   But now, you pay them 3% a year in fees.
Dangerous Don:  Very reasonable fees.  Competitive rates.
Johnny:  The industry always says things like that.  Sure, the fees are competitive.  But the whole system is rotten to the core.
Dangerous Don:  Not true.
Johnny:  Let’s take a look at each $100 you’ve got in your 401(k).  Every year, you pay upwards of 3% in fees and costs.  That’s $3.00 a year.  For each $100 you’ve saved up.
Dangerous Don:  3% is nothing.  Heck, sales tax is 4%.
Johnny:   So. . . . let’s take a look at your situation year by year.  That's the best way to see what's going on.

Dangerous Don:   Okay.

Johnny:  Let's take a look at what you contributed in 1992.   That was twenty years ago.  Each $100 that you put in has gotten whacked by a $3.00 fee, every year, for twenty years.   So. . . . out of each $100 you contributed in 1992, you’ve paid a total of $60 in fees.   Twenty times three.   So, now you’ve only got $40 left, out of your original $100.   Basically, 60% of what you contributed in 1992 is gone.   Used up to pay investment management fees.

Dangerous Don:  Wait a minute!   Only $40 left?   That can’t be right!
Johnny:   But it is right.

Dangerous Don:  Besides, that original $100 has been growing and growing and growing. . . .

Johnny:   Maybe.   Lot of ups and downs over the last twenty years.   Who knows?   Maybe there's going to be steady growth in the future.   Or maybe not.   But here's the thing.   Let’s be frank. . . . . no investment strategy will ever work, no matter how brilliant, when you have fees eating away that big a chunk.
Dangerous Don:   Hey, now wait a minute, Johnny!    These are just. . . . I mean. . . . just wild exaggerations! 
Johnny:   When you losing 60% in fees, nobody’s going to be able to dig you out of a hole that deep.
Dangerous Don:   But that’s over twenty years.   Twenty years!   Who pays any attention to something that slow?   Something that plays out over twenty years?
Johnny:   Exactly!   Right there is the Big Trick that the financial industry plays on people!  People don’t pay attention to a lousy little 3% a year.  And they never stop to think that 3% a year adds up to 60% over twenty years.
Dangerous Don:  Hey, if nobody misses the money, I’d say let’s keep on taking it.
Johnny:   Spoken like a true investment professional!
Dangerous Don:   Seriously. . . .
Johnny:  You know. . . . there’s been so much talk recently about income inequality.  People don’t realize that 401(k)’s play a big part in that.
Dangerous Don:  How so?
Johnny:  Nationwide, there’s a couple trillion dollars sitting in these 401(k)’s.   Try figuring out what 3% a year, on a couple trillion bucks, brings in to these investment managers on Wall Street.

Dangerous Don:   I’d say. . . we’re talking. . . some pretty big bucks.
Johnny:  Mega-bucks.  The whole 401(k) movement, with all these tax incentives, has been a huge shot in the arm for Wall Street.
Dangerous Don:   But they earn it!  The market was up almost 6% in 2011.
Johnny:  Struggling to get back to where it was in 2007.  And still not making it.
Dangerous Don:  Takes time.
Johnny:  And in 2003, 2004, 2005 and 2006, the market was struggling to get back to where it had been in 2000, before the DotCom Crash of 2001.
Dangerous Don:   This is all just ancient history.   Who cares?
Johnny:  Fact of the matter, the S&P 500 was lower on January 1, 2010 than it was on January 1, 2000.
Dangerous Don:  One bad decade doesn’t ruin a rally.
Johnny:   So. . . . if you kept your 401(k) mostly in equity stocks, you were pretty much in the same place in 2010 as you were in 2000.  Minus, of course, those 3% fees that you paid every year over that ten-year period.  Which took a total bite of 30% out of what you had in 2000.
Dangerous Don:   Wait a minute!   I don’t believe 30%.   Way too high.
Johnny:   Okay. . . . . let’s try an example.  Let’s say you had $100,000 in your 401(k) in January, 2000.   And you had it all invested in one of the thousands of mutual funds that have an annual expense ratio of 1.50% or higher.  And let's say this fund charges another 1% a year in 12b-1 fees, which is also pretty typical.  Plus, of course, you've got all those additional fees. . . . please bear with me. . . . . for operating the 401(k) itself, as opposed to operating the funds inside the 401(k).

Dangerous Don:   Okay.  I'm listening.
Johnny:   So. . . . . let’s say, just to keep it simple, that this fund managed to keep pace with the S&P 500 during the next ten years, from 2000 to 2010.    So, in January, 2010, based on the S&P 500 Index, your $100,000 should have been almost flat.   A little under $100,000.
Dangerous Don:   I’m listening.
Johnny:  But actually, that’s not what happened.   Fact of the matter, you’re way under $100,000.  Because you paid $3,000 in fees every year, for ten years.  For a total of $30,000 in fees.  Your original $100,000 is now less than $70,000.  You're down 30%.
Dangerous Don:   All I can say is. . . . you prophets of doom are all alike.  No guts.  You need guts to make it on the stock market.
Johnny:  Guts?
Dangerous Don:   One big play can turn everything around.
Johnny:  One big play?   Such as?
Dangerous Don:    Koscot Interplanetary.    Guys in my 401(k) are going to triple their money in a couple months.
Johnny:   That stock is headed for big trouble.   Everything about it smells wrong.
Dangerous Don:   Everybody and his brother have already bought Koscot.  How can so many people be wrong?
Johnny:  Interesting that your strategy is to go for the “big plays”.    What ever happened to the expression “playing the stock market”?
Dangerous Don:   Dunno.
Johnny:  Used to be. . . . when I was young. . . . people would say that so-and-so made money “playing the stock market”.
Dangerous Don:   Point being. . . . ?
Johnny:   The whole idea. . . back then. . . was that the stock market was strictly a rich guy’s game.  You only “played” the stock market as a game.  Only if you were so rich that losing a few million didn’t matter.
Dangerous Don:  And. . . . ?
Johnny:   We should go back to that idea.  That was the right idea.  Average people should be putting their savings in a bank account, not in the stock market.
Dangerous Don:   Ridiculous idea.   Banks don’t pay squat in interest.   What?   Less than 1% on savings accounts?
Johnny:   I know, and that’s a big problem.  But low interest rates are a fly-speck problem, compared to watching your entire savings drop by over 50%.   Like what happened in 2008 and 2009.
Dangerous Don:  Still think it’s a ridiculous idea. . . .
Johnny:  . . . . not to mention paying all those investment management fees.

Dangerous Don:   Oh man!   More of these wild exaggerations about 401(k) fees!   Johnny, you're driving me crazy!

Johnny:  Proof is in the pudding.   Because of all those fees, and the huge stock market losses in the Crash of 2001 and the Crash of 2008, lot of people retiring in 2012 are going to be really hurting.

Dangerous Don:   Their own fault.  Should have been more aggressive.

Johnny:   Problem is, what's the total amount, when you add up all the contributions into your 401(k) over your entire lifetime?   Lot of people are finding out they've got less today in their 401(k) than the total of what they put in.   

Dangerous Don:   Because they didn't invest in deals like Koscot Interplanetary!

Johnny:   Amazingly enough, these people would have been better off putting their money into some kind of savings account option in their 401(k), even if it had zero interest.   Think about that.   Zero interest would have been better than keeping your savings in the stock market.
Dangerous Don:  Well. . . . guess we’ll have to talk about that next time.
Johnny:   We’re out of time?
Dangerous Don:   Sad but true.

Johnny:  Okay. . . . last thing. . . . . since I'm the Number Two guy on this blog. . . . . I'm supposed to ask you about the motto of the MACHO INVESTING blog.   Something like that.  So, Don, what's the motto of MACHO INVESTING?

Dangerous Don:   Attaboy!   Good job!    Our motto is BE DANGEROUS!

Johnny:  And what's the take-away from this post?

Dangerous Don:   Same thing I've been saying for years.   All the finance books will tell you.  Risk equals Reward.   So, obviously, MORE RISK EQUALS MORE REWARD.

Johnny:    Dangerous idea.

Dangerous Don:   That's why they call me Dangerous Don.   I'm afraid of nothing!    When I walk out on the trading floor, people are afraid of me!    I really like that!

Johnny:   Heck of an imagination.

Dangerous Don:   I tell you. . . . people are terrified!   They can't figure out what I'm going to do next!

Johnny:   No man is an island.  But some of us are very, very long peninsulas.

Dangerous Don:   I tell you, that's what MACHO INVESTING is all about!   Shock and awe!   Show 'em what you're made of!

Johnny:  Before we go, ask me what my bottom-line is.

Dangerous Don:   Okay.   Johnny, what's your bottom-line?

Johnny:  First, folks should keep their 401(k) money in low-cost index funds.    Like Vanguard Total Stock Market Index.   You get better long-term returns.

Dangerous Don:   You're boring me to death.

Johnny:   Plus, index funds usually don't have these astronomical fees that eat the guts out of your savings.   If your 401(k) doesn't have any index funds, head down to your Human Resources office, and pound your fist on the table until they get you some!

Dangerous Don:   You sound angry.

Johnny:   Bet your sweet bippy I'm angry! 

Dangerous Don:   That's it?

Johnny:   Also, make sure  your company adds some bond index funds, as one of the options in your 401(k).   Fact is, as you get older, you gotta move gradually into more bonds.

Dangerous Don:  That's it?

Johnny:  Hammer your Human Resource department on those 401(k) fees.   Don't let them get away with wishy-washy answers.   Mention every one of these fees I've talked about.   Revenue sharing.  Wrap fees.  Sub-transfer-agency fees.  Pin them down on every single one of these fees.

Dangerous Don:   Human Resources?   Forget it!   They won't know from a hole in the wall.

Johnny:    Sometimes the Human Resource folks won't know.   Sometimes, nobody in your company will know.  If they've hired an outside investment manager, Human Resources  probably doesn't know squat.  They won't even know whether your 401(k) plan is being charged these fees or not.   So you have to force them to go find out.   Wall Street is really good at hiding fees.  You're going to have to fight. . . . . to get the full story.

Dangerous Don:   Okay!   Thank you, Johnny!   Time's up.   Good-bye everybody!
Johnny:   See you next time!

Dangerous Don:    And don't forget what I told you!   Whenever you buy stock, any stock, always mention my name.

Johnny:   He gets a commish.
Dangerous Don:   Stay tuned to the MACHO INVESTING blog!  Believe me, you are going to make a TON of money!













Sunday, January 29, 2012

CHAPTER SIX: NEVER HEDGE YOUR BETS

[transcript]
Dangerous Don:  Welcome back, everybody!  Welcome back to the MACHO INVESTING blog, the home of you and me and a TON of other stock-market millionaires just like us.  We’re blogging to you direct from our worldwide corporate headquarters right here in Scranton, Pennsylvania.
Johnny:  And I second the motion, even though we’re actually in Dunmore!  Welcome back, everybody!
Dangerous Don:   I’m your host, Dangerous Don.  I’m sure you recognize the name.   I happen to be one of the greatest stock-market investors of all time.
Johnny:   And I am. . . . .
Dangerous Don:  And yes, right here at my side is my esteemed co-host, the alpha male of the Scranton financial gurus, the world-famous Johnny Doorknob.
Tana Marie:   ALPHA MALE!   Gimme a break!   Don, you are such a hoot!   And you know something?   I’d be laughing, except your stupid day trading is costing us $4000 a year!
Dangerous Don:  Folks, that lovely voice you just heard was my lovely wife, Tana Marie, who is standing right here next to me, in our Scranton corporate office. . . . .
Tana Marie:  Corporate office?   Gimme me a break!   You’re sitting right here in MY KITCHEN!

Dangerous Don:  They don't come any cuter!

Tana Marie:  I said MY KITCHEN!
Dangerous Don:   MOVING RIGHT ALONG. . . . . . !
Johnny:  Don, maybe we can talk about something else?   How about, maybe, your new job?  Operating this 401(k) that you’re in charge of?
Dangerous Don:  Great idea!    Folks, I may have told you, I recently got a new job.  I am now the chief financial officer of a 401(k) plan for a local Scranton company.
Johnny:  And the name of the company. . . .
Dangerous Don:  . . . . . is Misery Loves.  About 160 employees.   Been in business over 40 years.  Got a factory where they manufacture antique furniture.
Johnny:   So. . . . . . your job is to set up the investment options for these 160 employees?  For their retirement savings?
Dangerous Don:   Exactly.   And lemme tell you, this is the best job I’ve ever had.  I was  born for this job!
Johnny:   Met any of the employees?
Dangerous Don:   Had a sort of town-hall meeting couple days ago.
Johnny:   Interesting. . . . .
Dangerous Don:   Went pretty well.   But, needless to say, with the stock-market crash in 2009, there were some unhappy campers.
Johnny:  Some of those guys really got whacked, right?
Dangerous Don:  Oh yeah.   Bigtime.   Bunch of guys lost more than 50%.   Moved out of stocks at the bottom of the market, so they'll never get that money back.   Really tough, when you’re pulling down a carpenter’s paycheck.
Johnny:   Most of the employees are carpenters, right?
Dangerous Don:  Most of them.
Johnny:  I’m sure those guys are really good at what they do. . . . but not too savvy about investing.
Dangerous Don:  That’s the tough part.   I'm their chief investment advisor.  So I'm the one who has to look a carpenter square in the face, and tell him that it’s his own fault that he got wiped out by stock-market losses.
Johnny:  His own fault?
Dangerous Don:   Look, our 401(k) has fourteen investment options.  Nobody forced these guys to put every single dollar in Small Cap Aggressive Growth.

Johnny:   I thought that was your favorite.

Dangerous Don:   Not since it fell off a cliff.

Johnny:   These guys probably had no idea what Small Cap Aggressive Growth even means.
Dangerous Don:  No truer words!  One poor guy thought Small Cap Aggressive Growth was a hat company!
Johnny:  A hat company?
Dangerous Don:  This guy looks around and he sees all these teen-agers wearing baseball caps.   You know, wearing them backwards.   So, he figures there must be a big market for baseball caps. 
Johnny:   Wow!   And he thought. . . . .
Dangerous Don:  And he thought Small Cap Aggressive Growth was a company that makes baseball caps.
Johnny:  You know. . . . sometimes you gotta wonder if the Average Joe like me really belongs investing their whole savings in the stock market.
Dangerous Don:   Sure does!  Just gotta do it right!

Johnny:  Your Average Joe. . . .  say a plumber like me. . . . .  ain't gonna outsmart the wolves of Wall Street.  Ain't gonna happen.   Stock market is a big, bad poker game.   And there ain't no Nevada Gaming Control Board to protect you.  You're going to get wiped out.

Dangerous Don:   You just gotta do it right!    Become a Macho Investor!   Learn to live with risk!
Johnny:   No comment. 

Dangerous Don:  Remember what all the finance books say.   Risk equals Reward.   So obviously, MORE RISK EQUALS MORE REWARD!

Johnny:   No comment.   For most average folks, I think putting their 401(k) savings in a GIC or a total market index fund would be better.
Dangerous Don:  So, okay, Johnny. . . . . gotta stop for a minute here.   Please explain to our audience what a GIC is.
Johnny:  Okay. . . . . so. . . . . a GIC is a Guaranteed Investment Contract.  Usually from a big insurance company or some other institution like that.   In today’s market, they pay maybe 3.5% to 4% a year.   They pay much better rates than money markets or bank CD’s, at least for the time being.
Dangerous Don:   But. . . . .
Johnny:  But, you're right.   GIC’s are not available to retail investors.  You and me can’t just call up Met Life and tell them you want to buy one.  You have to belong to some group, some plan. . . .  like a 401(k). . . .  which has enough clout to negotiate one-on-one with these big insurance companies.
Dangerous Don:  But. . . . .
Johnny:  But, you're right.  Don’t think GIC’s are completely risk-free.  Insurance companies sometimes go broke.  AIG went broke.  But overall, pretty clear, GIC's are a lot more stable than equities.
Dangerous Don:  But, Johnny!   A lousy 4%!    I mean. . . . where's the vision?   Not even worth the effort!
Johnny:   Don, I’m just trying to help these people retire with most of their savings still intact.  As opposed to your looney-tunes Macho Investing, which means risking every dollar you've ever saved, every day.
Dangerous Don:  And proud of it!  What kind of  girlie man would run away from that risk?
Johnny:  Okay. . . . . so I’m a girlie man.
Dangerous Don:   I don’t even consider investing in something unless we're talking at least a 20% return.
Johnny:   No comment.   Except you might mention that the S&P 500 was lower on January 1, 2010 than it was ten years earlier.   On January 1, 2000.   Just about everybody who was banking on those 20% returns lost their shirts.

Dangerous Don:   No big deal.  One bad decade doesn't ruin a rally

Johnny:  Okay, but during that exact same ten-year period, Vanguard's Intermediate-Term Bond Index Fund almost doubled in value.   Just saying.

Dangerous Don:  All depends on the future.   Do you think we're ever again going to get a repeat performance of the Crash of 2001?   Or the Crash of 2009?   I don't think so.

Johnny:  I do.

Dangerous Don:  You glass-half-empty guys are all alike.

Johnny:  You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned the two market crashes we've had recently.  Fact of the matter, it almost doesn't make any difference how well the equity market does in between crashes.

Dangerous Don:  "In between crashes"?   Boy, you guys are brutal!

Johnny:  Right, that's what I said.   In between crashes.  If the market is going to nose-dive every six or seven years, and drop more than 50% each time, then all bets are off.   It doesn't matter how well the market does in between.  You barely climb out of the hole, and then you fall back in it again.  
Dangerous Don:  Okay. . . . enough said. . . . let’s go back to my 401(k).  The one I'm in charge of.  At Misery Loves.   One thing.   I just started this job last month.  And the guy who ran this 401(k) before me. . . . . . . turns out. . . . . he really dropped the ball.
Johnny:  How so?
Dangerous Don:  He had a “market neutral” strategy.
Johnny:  Which means?
Dangerous Don:  For example, he would advise half of the employees to invest in a silver futures fund.
Johnny:  That's commodity market stuff, right?
Dangerous Don:  Right.  Betting that the price of silver is going to go up.
Johnny:  Who the heck knows if it’s going to go up or not?
Dangerous Don:  But the real problem. . . . I couldn't believe this. . . . . he would advise the other half of the employees to invest in another fund.  A fund that shorts the silver market.
Johnny:  Meaning. . . . . ?
Dangerous Don:  Betting that the price of silver will go down.
Johnny:  Little bit of a contradiction there, wouldn’t you say?
Dangerous Don:  Depends on your point of view.  From the point of view of the entire 401(k). . . . and the track record of the manager of the 401(k). . . . . this is a perfectly rational strategy.   It’s market-neutral.  Basically, nothing can go wrong.
Johnny:  Because no matter whether silver goes up or down. . . . . ?
Dangerous Don:   There’s going to be offsetting gains and losses.  So your track record doesn’t get hit, one way or the other.
Johnny:  But. . . . . of course. . . . from the point of view of the employees. . . . . or at least half of the employees. . . .
Dangerous Don:   Exactly.   Half of your employees are pretty much guaranteed to get whacked.   You don’t know which half, but half of them will end up betting wrong.
Johnny:  Sounds like these “market-neutral” strategies ought to be illegal.
Dangerous Don:  It’s not illegal if the manager describes it in the prospectus.  Then it’s legal.
Johnny:  Okay. . . . . . so, for the benefit of our audience. . . .  a prospectus is. . . .  what?  400 pages of fine-print goobledegook that these poor carpenters are supposed to take home and read, right?
Dangerous Don:  I don’t make up the laws.

Johnny:   But, Don. . . . let’s go back.   I think you started off saying you don’t like this guy’s strategy.  Guy dropped the ball, right?
Dangerous Don:   Absolutely!   I never hedge my bets.   I don’t do this “market-neutral” stuff at all.   I put my money where my mouth is.
Johnny:   I’m with you on that one.   At least your heart’s in the right place.
Dangerous Don:  Guy was outrageous!   Hard to believe, but he was market-neutral on the World Series!
Johnny:  What do you mean. . . . . . ?
Dangerous Don:   He had half the employees in a mutual fund that always bets the National League to win the Series.   And the other half in another fund that always bets the American League.
Johnny:  So. . . . . heads I win, tails you lose.
Dangerous Don:  Right, but it's a safe bet only from his perspective, as the manager of the 401(k).   If you’re an employee, it’s a different picture.   Half of those employees, half of the people he was responsible for, were guaranteed to lose.
Johnny:  So. . . . . you’re changing all that?
Dangerous Don:   Of course!   First thing, I got rid of all his funds.  Dropped them out of our 401(k) completely.   Then I added a new fund, Pennsylvania Sports Derivatives Institutional.
Johnny:  And this new fund. . . . .
Dangerous Don:  Always bets the Phillies. 
Johnny:  And you think that’s in the best interests of these employees?
Dangerous Don:   Absolutely!   People are just throwing away good money if they don’t bet the Phillies this year.   As an investment advisor. . . . . and as a fiduciary. . . . . I can’t let that happen.
Johnny:   No offense, but I think I’ll stick with a GIC or an index fund.
Dangerous Don:  Those are just little old lady stuff.    You know something, Johnny?  Sometimes I wonder if you're man enough to be a Macho Investor, even if you wanted to be one.

Tana Marie:  Watch out!  Testosterone Alert!   No Girls Allowed!

Johnny:  Don't get personal, Don!

Dangerous Don:   Okay, okay, you're right.  I shouldn't get personal.  But I tell you, betting the Phillies to win the World Series this year is the closest thing I've ever seen to a 100% guaranteed investment.  And as a fiduciary, I have to act accordingly.
Johnny:   Well, Don. . . . . I just checked my watch.   Plenty of time to talk about fiduciary duties and little old lady stuff the next time we get together, right?
Dangerous Don:   Correcto, my friend.  Once again, folks, we’ve run out of time.   So. . . . we’ll see you next time! 
Johnny:  See you all next time!
Dangerous Don:   Stay tuned to the MACHO INVESTING blog!    Believe me, you are going to make a TON of money!